Parenting Tips

Parenting is an important part of loving and caring for your child. Good parenting is about providing a warm, secure home life, helping your child to learn the rules of life (e.g. how to share, respecting others, etc.) and to develop good self-esteem. You may have to stop them from doing things they shouldn’t be doing, but it is just as important to encourage them to do the things you do want them to do.

Why is parenting important?

Rules are an important part of everyday life. They make it possible for us to get along with one another. If children do not learn how to behave, they will find it difficult to get on, both with grown-ups and with other children. They will find it hard to learn at school, will misbehave and will probably become unhappy and frustrated.

What helps?

It is important to make sure that children feel secure, loved and valued, and to notice when they are behaving well. The trick to this is to find strategies that work well for you and your child.Here are some pointers:

Be consistent.

 If you don’t stick to the rules your child will learn that if they ignore them, you will probably give in.

Give lots of praise

Let your children know when they have done something well and when you are pleased with them. For example, give them a hug, give them a kiss and tell them how great they are. You need to do this straight away.

Planning ahead

It helps if you and your child know the rules for particular situations before they happen. Don’t make them up as you go along (e.g. if bedtime is 7.00 p.m., make sure you both stick to it).

Involve your child

Sit down with your child and talk to them about good behavior. You might be surprised about how much you both agree on.

Be calm

This can be difficult in the heat of the moment, but it does help. Be calm and clear with your commands, for example ‘please switch off the TV’ or ‘its bedtime’.

Be clear with your child

For example ‘please put your toys away’ tell children exactly what you expect them to do.

Simply telling them to ‘be good’ does not. If your child can’t understand you, they can’t obey you. Keep it short and simple.

Be realistic

It’s no good promising a wonderful reward or dreadful punishment if you are not going to see it through. It is much better to offer small rewards rather than punishments. For example ‘when you have tidied your room, you can have an ice cream’. Don’t expect miracles. If your child has only partly tidied their room, praise them for having started.

Adopted from:GOOD PARENTING PAGE 2 MENTAL HEALTH AND GROWING UP FACTSHEET 2© 2004 Royal College of Psychiatrists


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