20 Reasons
Why Your Child Needs
You to Be
an Active Father by Dr. Stephen D. Green
Have you ever watched the movie: Courageous?
It has got to be one of the best movies ever done on FATHERHOOD! It depicts the current state of fatherhood in our society
today, its effects on children, and what can be done as a solution to lack of
effective fatherhood skills. Just in case you have never watched it, please
click here to view its trailer.
Hope it whets your appetite enough to make you
get your own copy and watch it, and hope you learn a lot from it.
Yesterday, was a special day to
celebrate special people, across the whole world. It was a day to celebrate
fathers and most of us had the chance to appreciate the men in our lives who
are fathers in one way or another. In the same spirit of celebrating fathers,
today we would like to enlighten men (and the women who care about them), on
the importance of being active fathers in their children’s lives. Fatherhood,
is more than just being the paternal parent to a child, it is more about being
actively present in your child’s life. It is about living your life in such a
way that is desirable and worth being emulated by your very own child. It is
about relating with your child in such a way that you call out the king/ queen
in them and help them realize their best potential.
Dear Fathers (both current and ‘aspiring’),
here are some good reasons why you need to be actively involved in your children’s
lives, especially if you want them to get the best out of life. These benefits are
according to a research done by Dr. Stephen D. Green- a specialist in child
development.
Love
involves more than saying the words, “I love you.” Fathers who love their
children demonstrate their love by spending quality and quantity time together.
Children who feel loved are more likely to develop a strong emotional bond with
their father and a healthy self-esteem.
Research
clearly indicates that families with an active father are “better off” financially.
This means that children with active fathers will be more likely to have access
to resources that facilitate healthy development (e.g., food, clothing,
shelter, quality medical care).
Children,
regardless of gender, need positive male and female role models. Children tend
to model behavior (positive and negative) that they witness on a consistent
basis. Active fathers can promote positive behaviors by setting a proper
example for their children.
Provides your child with emotional support
Enhances your child’s self-esteem
Self-esteem
refers to how a person feels about himself. Children with high self-esteem tend
to be happier and more confident than children with low self-esteem. Active
fathers promote their children’s self-esteem by being fully involved in their
lives and letting them know that they are highly valued.
Enhances your child’s intellectual development
Children
who are raised with actively involved fathers tend to score higher on measures
of verbal and mathematical ability, and also demonstrate greater
problem-solving and social skills.
From
infancy, children need proper guidance and discipline. Active fathers play an
important role in teaching their children proper behavior by setting and
enforcing healthy limits
Gives your child someone to play with
One
of the primary ways that fathers bond with their children is through play.
According to researchers, there are qualitative differences in the ways fathers
and mothers play with their children. Fathers tend to use a more physical style
of play (e.g., wrestling) that offers a number of benefits to children,
including enhanced cognitive ability.
Provides your child with someone to talk to when she has
questions
Young
children are full of questions. This natural curiosity helps them learn about
their environment. Active fathers can be a valuable source of information for
children who are seeking answers to life’s important questions.
Increases
your child’s chances for academic success
Children
whose fathers are actively involved in their lives are more likely to achieve
academic success than children whose fathers are not actively involved. These academic
benefits appear to extend into adulthood.
Provides
your child with an alternative perspective on life
Research
indicates that men and women often differ in their parenting styles; however,
one style is not necessarily better than the other. Instead, it can be healthy for
children to be exposed to different perspectives on life, such as a father’s.
Lowers
your child’s chances for early sexual activity
Children
with actively involved fathers are less likely to engage in early sexual
activity, thus reducing their chances for teen pregnancy and sexually
transmitted diseases.
Lowers
your child’s chances for school failure
Children
with actively involved fathers are less likely to drop out of school than
children with uninvolved fathers.
Lowers
your child’s chances for youth suicide
Children
with actively involved fathers are less likely to commit suicide than children
with uninvolved fathers.
Lowers
your child’s chances for juvenile delinquency
The
benefits of having an active father throughout a child’s early years extend
into the teen years as well. Children with active fathers are less likely to
commit juvenile crimes than children with inactive fathers.
Lowers
your child’s chances for adult criminality
The
chances that a child will commit crimes as an adult also diminish when he grows
up with an actively involved father.
One
of the major benefits that fathers can provide to their children by being
actively involved is a sense of security (physical and emotional). By being
actively involved in a child’s life, a father promotes a trusting relationship.
The child does not have to worry about being abandoned.
Facilitates
your child’s moral development
Children
need a moral compass to guide them when they face difficult moral choices.
Fathers, like mothers, help children to develop a sense of right and wrong that
serves as a foundation for establishing moral character.
Promotes a
healthy gender identity in your child
Boys
and girls benefit from having healthy role models from both sexes. Research
points to the fact that mothers and fathers socialize their children in
different ways. Fathers can help their children, especially boys, to develop a
healthy sense of what it means to be a male.
Helps your
child learn important life skills
Most
of the essential life skills that children need to survive are learned within
the home. Fathers have a unique opportunity to teach their children valuable skills
that will enable them to grow up to be healthy and productive adults.
Fathers, your children need you!
Make a commitment to be an active father. You do more than invest in their lives; your investment runs through the generations that come through your children!
Prepared by: Stephen D. Green, Ph.D.,
Child Development Specialist, Texas A&M AgriLife Extension Service, October
2000.
Source:
Wade F. Horn, David
Blankenhorn, and Mitchell B. Pearlstein (Eds.), The Fatherhood Movement: A Call
to Action. New York: Lexington Books
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