How to challenge unhelpful thoughts

Once you have recognised an unhelpful thought the next stage is to challenge it. To do this, you can ask yourself a serious of questions. See the example below:

Situation: You are due to meet your friend's work colleagues.

How you feel: On edge, self conscious.

Unhelpful thought: I'll have nothing to say and they'll think I'm an idiot!

Now you can challenge your unhelpful thoughts by asking these questions.

Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought?

·         I coped fine last week when I was introduced to my brother's new partner.

·         I never run out of things to say to my friends, so why should this be different.

Can you identify any of the patterns of unhelpful thinking described earlier?

·         I'm predicting the future. I'm imagining that it'll go badly but I can't say for sure how it will go.

What would your friend say to you if they knew what you were thinking?

·         They would probably say - don't be silly, you're always good company.

How will you feel about this in 6 months time?

·         I probably won't care. Even if it goes wrong I'll have forgotten about it by then.

What are the costs and benefits of thinking in this way?

·         Costs: It's making me nervous before I even go into the situation. It's made me feel inadequate.

·         Benefits: I can't really think of any.

Is there a another way of looking at this this situation?

·         Even if I don't have anything to say, it's not just up to me to keep conversations going. It's everyone's responsibility.

Once you have asked yourself these questions, you should read through your answers. Try to come up with a more balanced or rational view. For example:

I can't say for sure how it will go. I coped fine last week in a similar situation so hopefully this will be the same. If it doesn't go great it's not the end of the world. 

Try to apply these questions to the unhelpful thoughts that you notice. It can help to reduce your social anxiety
Part 6:Reducing internal focus during social interactions